Say "YES" to Her Emotions

A woman’s unbridled emotions can scare the hell out of some men. Better said, a woman’s emotions can scare the masculine right out of a man. If a man has not learned to be grounded amidst emotional intensity, his nervous system will be instantly triggered into fight or flight. This man perceives his woman’s unpredictable and uncontrollable emotions as something dangerous to avoid. He may cloak it in language like, She gets so crazy sometimes or Why can’t she just chill out and be more like my buddies? Don't be fooled, this man’s mask of superiority is quite the opposite. This man is emotionally immature and avoidant.

There is an undeniable correlation between a man’s relationship to his emotions and his woman’s. For a man to be comfortable with his woman’s free expression of her emotionality, he must first befriend his own. If he fears his own emotions, thus suppressing them, he has put himself under a spell thinking that he is “in control of them”. In reality, he is doing deep harm to himself and may eventually manifest a physical ailment or illness. 

A mature man will be at peace with allowing his emotions to flow freely, when appropriate of course. This doesn’t mean he is “controlled by” his emotions, rather, he has developed an open channel of fully feeling his emotions when they arise, and deals with them justly. The mature man relates to his emotions through the lens of his higher consciousness, recognizing that emotions contain valuable information but they are not always fully reliable. In other words, there is nuance to it, and a mature man will develop the ability to navigate these subtleties over time.

Men are often giftted at fixing things, but when it comes to her emotions there is no fixing to be done. This is good news to any man because it takes off all the pressure. He can let go of his desire to fix her because that's the last thing she wants from him. He simply needs to be FULLY Present (simple but not easy). Often, he need not utter a word. Presence mixed with loving touch is often an appropriate remedy in such vulernable moments. Squeezing her hand, rubbing her head, or a warm embrace…whatever the moment calls for. It is your job to be attuned to her needs and act accordingly. A helpful exercise is to feel into her energy more than the words she’s speaking. 

If you want to make progress in befriending emotions, a good starting point is to get comfortable being uncomfortable in the presence of big emotions-- hers or yours. It’s like working out or learning a new sport. When it’s brand new, it feels the worst and is most challenging. With practice and over time, you will notice that your discomfort has decreased. Eventually it will become habitual and second nature.

Why does saying YES to her emotions matter? It matters if you want your woman to soften and open to you. Woman are typically much more emotionally attuned than men (with exceptions). If you are consistently avoiding her when she is emotional, she will feel rejected and will close off toward you. She will harden and feel sharp. 

More importantly, she will lose respect for you and her trust in you will suffer because she will see you as weak and unwilling to be with her in the fire. If you back down from her messiness because it feels uncomfortable, then what else in life will cause you to retreat? 

Trust me, this matters much more than you may realize. Start saying YES and watch what unfolds.