Session 3: The Mind, Part One

 

Why does our mind incessantly chatter? Furthermore, why is the chatter mostly negative? First, we need to look at what the mind is. The mind is not bad. The mind is crucial to our survival and is an energy field where thoughts originate and exist. Thoughts originate as a result of our experiences with the world through our five senses. First our senses interact with the outside world, then our mind formulates a thought based on the interaction, and finally those thoughts are stored in our memory. For instance, if we have a positive experience with a baby, our mind links babies with pleasure. On the other hand, if we had a bad experience with a police officer, our mind equate cops to pain. We know that babies and police officers cannot be neatly lumped into categories of “good” or “bad.” But this is exactly what our minds do in an attempt to keep us from harm as we experience the outside world.

After our minds have categorized certain objects or situations as positive or negative, we unconsciously approach them from this framework each time we have another interaction. In other words, we choose to either resist or cling to whatever we are experiencing. Meaning, we either like it or we don’t…we label it as good or bad. From the previous example, we like babies, but we don’t like cops. We look forward to interacting with another baby, but we try to get away steer clear of cops. As these experiences build over time, the pathways in our mind are solidified. Suddenly, every time we even think we see a police car, our mind freaks out. The sight of any black Dodge Charger produces physical symptoms in our bodies. Our heart begins to race, palms start to sweat, and we feel knots in our stomach. These patterns of judgment are the “personal mind.” The personal mind is not objective in its judgments, rather it is a culmination of subjective experiences that have been stored in the mind as memories.

Here is another example: a butterfly landing on our arm is a pleasant experience because we were taught at a young age that butterflies are beautiful and harmless. On the other hand, almost stepping on a rattlesnake on a hiking trail is an unpleasant experience because we were taught that rattlesnake bites can be deadly. Suddenly, we think we see rattlesnakes everywhere on the trail and the intense fear dominates our emotions and ruins the hike. Even tree branches and weeds start looking like rattlesnakes. We think one will be hiding underneath every fallen tree on the trail. Our mind has become fixated on fear. We experience rattlesnakes and butterflies this way because we were pre-conditioned in your youth to label butterflies as good and rattlesnakes as bad...cling to one and resist the other. But is this a helpful way to live?

Now, let’s take it a step further and look at how clinging to positive experiences and resistance to negative experiences can start to control our lives. First, clinging: Because the butterfly landing on our arm gave us an incredible high (maybe not the best example but you can substitute butterfly with whatever gets your juices flowing!), we cling to this enjoyable experience. Suddenly, we find ourselves searching for butterflies everywhere we go. We want it to happen again. But when it doesn't happen again, we are disappointed and cannot enjoy the moment because we need to see a butterfly and have it land on our arm to feel good. 

A magical moment can never be relived in the exact same way. Most of the magic resulted from the our lack of expectations, or the fact that it was a new experience. When we expect to be able to re-experience the same feelings that we had the day before, we will be disappointed. Clinging to positive experiences in such a way will ruin our lives. We develop addictions to objects or experiences because once we experience the high, we do not think that anything else can satisfy. Desire is highly oversold in our society and advertisers do a great job of tapping into our desire to cling. Advertising feeds us the lie that we need the right stuff and experiences to be content. Yes, these things will make us feel good initially, but the pleasurable feelings will always be fleeting. This is deception, and the clever part of deception is those who are deceived do not know they are being deceived.

Next, resistance: We are driven by our resistance of rattlesnakes by avoiding any possible place we might see one. We have already bought into the idea that rattlesnakes are bad and need to be avoided. Of course, it is true that rattlesnakes can harm us, but it is extremely rare to be bitten by one. Most people who get bit are usually doing something stupid like trying to mess with the snake. So why even worry about it? Worry only makes us feel worse. The more we worry, the more we create fear in our bodies. 

We all have fears, even irrational ones. Whether it be needles, public speaking, or walking on cracks, we all have fears that are unnecessarily making our lives worse. These fears can be traced back to a very real negative experience or simply some information that someone once told us. Either way, we slap a negative label on it and do our best to steer clear. Fear is, of course, sometimes beneficial by protecting us from harm, but it is important to be aware of what we are resisting and if it is actually serving us. Are we afraid of people who are different than us for a good reason, or are we simply buying into a lie that has existed inside of us for years? It is critical that we examine our resistance to situations in life because continual resistance strengthens fear, and fear controls the way many folks live their lives. Before we know it, we are no longer driving our own car. Fear is.

Now, to wrap up this session by relating this information to the focus of this course: surrender. The first step is to notice, to be aware of what is really going on. We must notice that we are constantly resisting and clinging. Resisting that rainy day and clinging to that ideal vacation. Once we are aware that this is happening, we begin to practice letting go of our clinging and resisting. Our goal is to surrender to the present moment so we can experience reality and be free of our need to control it. If we are constantly trying to manipulate life’s circumstances to be okay, we will be miserable most of the time. This seems obvious but it is the way most folks live their lives. A major component to spiritual growth is embracing what is happening in every single moment. We are fully capable of being content in every situation if we learn to surrender. Then, we are free.