Permanently Holstered—Discovering the Gospel of Peace
Written by Beau Hoffman:
This is the story of my journey to a commitment of non-violent love for enemy.
I used to carry a gun everywhere I went. I had my concealed carry permit, I didn’t trust anyone and I was always fearful. I felt as if it were my duty to protect my wife and myself at all times, so I always had a loaded gun holstered on my hip. If I was at the movies I watched people more than the film. At restaurants I would identify the biggest threat and know where the exits were located. I always had a strategic plan for the use of lethal force. I would frequently awaken (or be woken by my wife) to a sound in the house and immediately grab the handgun and the tactical flashlight and go through my routine of “clearing the house.”
That was only 4 years ago. I now never carry a gun, except when I am hunting. I’m not opposed to guns and I am not fearful of them. I have been trained properly how to handle firearms and I have a lot of practice. I have not become a “liberal” (although I claim no political affiliation) and I am not trying to eradicate guns. I still own guns, and I will still use them to hunt or do target shooting. But my life just isn’t consumed with fear anymore.
Fear used to be the driving factor in my faith. I feared that God hated me. I feared Hell. I feared messing up or else God would punish me. In reality, I believed that God despised all of humanity. And my view of God shaped my view of others. If God despised people because all of mankind was totally depraved, I felt the need to fear everyone and treat everyone as if they were a threat. And worse yet, if God really didn’t love me because I was totally depraved, I had better make sure it was someone else that was going to die and not me because I didn’t know if I would end up in the eternal flames of God’s violent wrath.
But praise God that all changed. I came to realize that God is just like Jesus—completely. We can know who God is in and through the person of Jesus. When I looked deeper at the life of Christ, not just for proof-texts to use against those who were different than me, I realized that he was radically non-violent, and that his love of others led him to be fearless in the face of extreme turmoil. Jesus flipped the script on ancient law, telling us to never return violence with violence, and instead to love our enemies. See Matthew 5:38-48. The perfect love of Jesus cast out all fear in my life.
Jesus’ life, passion and especially his death truly showed us the magnitude and depths of what it means to love our enemies. My last post was on how Jesus used Love to institute a new way of life as a method to subvert the oppressive Roman Empire. Although Jesus’ followers thought he would be their savior by resorting to violent revolution and overthrowing the Empire, Jesus showed them a new way of revolution and a new kingdom based on Love, not violence (read that here: http://www.jedepler.com/2019/01/the-way-of-jesus-way-of-love.html). And while that is true, it is even more evident when Jesus’ own life was threatened, and he refused to act with violence.
The peace and non-violence that Jesus portrayed is juxtaposed to the violent revolution for which Judas longed. Judas was from a violent tribe of men who were guerilla warriors, fighting against the Roman Empire. They wanted to see Israel fully restored to its independence and freedom. In the garden of Gethsemane, after Judas sold-out Jesus, it is almost as if Judas attempted to see whether Jesus would finally become the violent savior for whom he had hoped. Judas saw Jesus’ miracles. Judas knew he could walk on water and multiply food to feed thousands. Judas knew the masses longed for someone like Jesus who cared for the oppressed. Judas knew Jesus talked about setting captives free. Well, Judas and the Israelites were captives, and Judas was ready to see Jesus live up to his word. As Judas kissed Jesus, I imagine him turning by Jesus’ side, almost to suggest to Jesus, “your back is up against the wall now, your life or theirs…let ‘em have it!” But Jesus didn’t. In fact, when Peter pulled his sword and cut off one of the Roman soldier’s ears, Jesus rebuked Peter, told him “all who live by the sword will die by the sword,” and healed the soldier’s ear. See Luke 22: 48-52. Jesus refused to resort to violence against those who were coming to capture him and instead showed them love by healing one of his captors!
Jesus’ commitment to revolutionary, non-violent enemy Love is even more evident on the cross. As Jesus went to the cross, he continually revealed the heart of a savior who knew that only Love can cast out fear, that only Love can institute a new world order that brings peace and comfort to all and that only Love—even for enemy—can change the world. Violence can’t. When Jesus was beaten, mocked, spat upon and ultimately nailed to a cross, he continued to embody Love for his enemies. On the cross, Jesus plead, “Father forgive then, for they know not what they do,” not as a means to change God’s heart toward us, but to reveal the heart of God as Agape Love; other centered, self-giving, co-suffering, radically forgiving, enemy Love.
That’s the Love I want to personify even to those who make me out to be their enemy.
And I believe Jesus still lives, moves and performs miracles. I once had a dream in which an individual broke into my house. Without thinking, I gleefully exercised my right to self-defense, protected my home, and ended the life of the individual. After the person died, the incident was re-wound and replayed—this time differently. The person broke into my house, I confronted them again but this time instead of offering lead propelled through the air at 1000 feet per second, I offered food. The person was hungry and accepted my offer. We broke bread together and talked. The man was desperate and was taken aback by generosity. In my dream, this hopeless invader came face to face with two different versions of me: one that found enjoyment in the use of lethal force and one that believed Love exercised in response to a threatening enemy can result in miraculous redemption. I will strive to be the latter.
It’s obviously easier said than done. I’ve never been robbed. I’ve never been faced with hatred. I’ve never had to fear that my life or my wife’s life was actually threatened. But I hope that in those situations, I would rather give Love an opportunity at redemption—and if need be, lay down my life for the person attacking me—than end the life of another one of God’s image bearers.
This is the story of my journey to a commitment of non-violent love for enemy.
I used to carry a gun everywhere I went. I had my concealed carry permit, I didn’t trust anyone and I was always fearful. I felt as if it were my duty to protect my wife and myself at all times, so I always had a loaded gun holstered on my hip. If I was at the movies I watched people more than the film. At restaurants I would identify the biggest threat and know where the exits were located. I always had a strategic plan for the use of lethal force. I would frequently awaken (or be woken by my wife) to a sound in the house and immediately grab the handgun and the tactical flashlight and go through my routine of “clearing the house.”
That was only 4 years ago. I now never carry a gun, except when I am hunting. I’m not opposed to guns and I am not fearful of them. I have been trained properly how to handle firearms and I have a lot of practice. I have not become a “liberal” (although I claim no political affiliation) and I am not trying to eradicate guns. I still own guns, and I will still use them to hunt or do target shooting. But my life just isn’t consumed with fear anymore.
Fear used to be the driving factor in my faith. I feared that God hated me. I feared Hell. I feared messing up or else God would punish me. In reality, I believed that God despised all of humanity. And my view of God shaped my view of others. If God despised people because all of mankind was totally depraved, I felt the need to fear everyone and treat everyone as if they were a threat. And worse yet, if God really didn’t love me because I was totally depraved, I had better make sure it was someone else that was going to die and not me because I didn’t know if I would end up in the eternal flames of God’s violent wrath.
But praise God that all changed. I came to realize that God is just like Jesus—completely. We can know who God is in and through the person of Jesus. When I looked deeper at the life of Christ, not just for proof-texts to use against those who were different than me, I realized that he was radically non-violent, and that his love of others led him to be fearless in the face of extreme turmoil. Jesus flipped the script on ancient law, telling us to never return violence with violence, and instead to love our enemies. See Matthew 5:38-48. The perfect love of Jesus cast out all fear in my life.
Jesus’ life, passion and especially his death truly showed us the magnitude and depths of what it means to love our enemies. My last post was on how Jesus used Love to institute a new way of life as a method to subvert the oppressive Roman Empire. Although Jesus’ followers thought he would be their savior by resorting to violent revolution and overthrowing the Empire, Jesus showed them a new way of revolution and a new kingdom based on Love, not violence (read that here: http://www.jedepler.com/2019/01/the-way-of-jesus-way-of-love.html). And while that is true, it is even more evident when Jesus’ own life was threatened, and he refused to act with violence.
The peace and non-violence that Jesus portrayed is juxtaposed to the violent revolution for which Judas longed. Judas was from a violent tribe of men who were guerilla warriors, fighting against the Roman Empire. They wanted to see Israel fully restored to its independence and freedom. In the garden of Gethsemane, after Judas sold-out Jesus, it is almost as if Judas attempted to see whether Jesus would finally become the violent savior for whom he had hoped. Judas saw Jesus’ miracles. Judas knew he could walk on water and multiply food to feed thousands. Judas knew the masses longed for someone like Jesus who cared for the oppressed. Judas knew Jesus talked about setting captives free. Well, Judas and the Israelites were captives, and Judas was ready to see Jesus live up to his word. As Judas kissed Jesus, I imagine him turning by Jesus’ side, almost to suggest to Jesus, “your back is up against the wall now, your life or theirs…let ‘em have it!” But Jesus didn’t. In fact, when Peter pulled his sword and cut off one of the Roman soldier’s ears, Jesus rebuked Peter, told him “all who live by the sword will die by the sword,” and healed the soldier’s ear. See Luke 22: 48-52. Jesus refused to resort to violence against those who were coming to capture him and instead showed them love by healing one of his captors!
Jesus’ commitment to revolutionary, non-violent enemy Love is even more evident on the cross. As Jesus went to the cross, he continually revealed the heart of a savior who knew that only Love can cast out fear, that only Love can institute a new world order that brings peace and comfort to all and that only Love—even for enemy—can change the world. Violence can’t. When Jesus was beaten, mocked, spat upon and ultimately nailed to a cross, he continued to embody Love for his enemies. On the cross, Jesus plead, “Father forgive then, for they know not what they do,” not as a means to change God’s heart toward us, but to reveal the heart of God as Agape Love; other centered, self-giving, co-suffering, radically forgiving, enemy Love.
That’s the Love I want to personify even to those who make me out to be their enemy.
And I believe Jesus still lives, moves and performs miracles. I once had a dream in which an individual broke into my house. Without thinking, I gleefully exercised my right to self-defense, protected my home, and ended the life of the individual. After the person died, the incident was re-wound and replayed—this time differently. The person broke into my house, I confronted them again but this time instead of offering lead propelled through the air at 1000 feet per second, I offered food. The person was hungry and accepted my offer. We broke bread together and talked. The man was desperate and was taken aback by generosity. In my dream, this hopeless invader came face to face with two different versions of me: one that found enjoyment in the use of lethal force and one that believed Love exercised in response to a threatening enemy can result in miraculous redemption. I will strive to be the latter.
It’s obviously easier said than done. I’ve never been robbed. I’ve never been faced with hatred. I’ve never had to fear that my life or my wife’s life was actually threatened. But I hope that in those situations, I would rather give Love an opportunity at redemption—and if need be, lay down my life for the person attacking me—than end the life of another one of God’s image bearers.
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