The Realm Beyond Words

Words can be a powerful form of communication, BUT words can also be insufficient. Certain words communicate varied meanings depending upon the audience. You are only a successful communicator if your audience properly comprehends your intended message. If your audience hears a different message than what you intended, you did not successfully communicate. Words are not necessarily communication, but communication does sometime use words. Tension in relationships often derives from communication breakdowns that cause unintentional misunderstandings. We must choose are words carefully.

Now, let’s look at how certain words have different meanings to everyone. For instance, do you have negative or positive associations with these words?

• Food

• Sugar

• Hospitals

• Father

• God

• Religion

• Rules

• Islam

• Atheist

• Christianity

• Clowns

If I polled 100 people, their feelings about these words would vary. We all had different education and experiences that result in us feeling the way we do about certain words. Our brains are working a mile a minute to process the countless number of words we speak and listen to each day. Have you ever been surprised by how difficult it can be to describe a word you frequently use? You are perplexed since you use the word frequently, but when someone asks what it means you struggle explaining. Do we even know what we are talking about half the time?!

As a society, we need to start having deeper conversations about some of these words that are creating widespread discord. Why are people latching on to certain words so voraciously? Vegan, Christian, Republican, Boss…people fully identify with these words. Some folks don’t know who they are apart from their labels. Furthermore, we should examine what words we tightly cling to. Do you easily anger when someone disagrees with your strong opinion about religion or politics? If so, you have an identity problem. Do some self-reflecting and think about why you react so intensely to opposition. The wise do not have to be “right.” They are already at peace with themselves and do not identify with their beliefs.

It is unhelpful to dismiss certain people or groups because of the words they relate to that we do not. It is, of course, perfectly acceptable to disagree with one’s stance, but we should hear them out before writing them off as naive or wrong. It is critical to remember that a person believes what they do because it makes perfectly good sense to him or her. When someone states their opinion, ask for an explanation. Ask what they mean by their belief in God…or atheism. Ask why they are Republican…or Democrat. Dig deeper. Ask more. You will likely be surprised by the responses you hear. And if you sincerely listen, you will undoubtedly gain a new understanding about why they believe what they do.

Of course, the ego gets no pleasure from developing empathy and understanding of another. The ego much prefers to judge a person as right or wrong, good or evil. The ego loves taking sides. It is either “with you” or “against you.” Do not be run by your ego, instead be a thoughtful human being. Push that silly ego aside and do your best to truly hear someone BEYOND the words they are speaking. Listen for the “why” not just the “what.” Once you understand why someone believes what they do, you will see how it makes sense from their perspective. No one has the same perspective because we all grow up in situations where we are exposed to different ways of living. 

Let us all embrace the idea that it is healthy and beneficial to disagree. Different viewpoints make life interesting. Differing opinions should generate healthy debates and fact-checking. Facts can tricky to find these days, but this should not discourage us. What should discourage us is living inside a seemingly luxurious echo chamber. You are only fooling yourself if you think life is enjoyable inside the safe bubble of confirmation bias. Do not be so naïve. Living this way will stunt your growth and make you seem arrogant and repugnant to those who see the world differently than you. If you feel your blood boil when someone says Democrat or Republican...Christian or Atheist, you have some work to do.

Lastly, none of us truly know what words we believe until we closely examine our habits. There is no better litmus test for beliefs than reflecting upon our habits and actions. Intellectual beliefs alone do not carry much weight unless they are followed up by actions. For instance, what beliefs or faith do you lean on during tough times? The answer will determine what you actually believe. Examine your actions and you will truly discover your beliefs.

Hopefully this post has helped you see the complexity of words and begin your journey into the deeper realm beyond words.