Why are Young Adults Leaving Christianity?

Why write about this?

I have been having conversations lately with young adults and am hearing a common theme: they are fed up with Christianity. Another sad commonality is their hesitancy to voice this feeling because they don't know how their frustrations will be received by other Christians. And they have every reason to be hesitant. Most Christians (no, not all) freak out when someone vents about their frustrations with Christianity.  This most popular American religion has done a sub-par job at nurturing questions and doubts from its adherents. As people begin to deconstruct their faith, they try to keep one foot in and one foot out. This unfamiliar territory usually doesn't last long since the Church doesn't really enjoy keeping these doubters around. More often than not, their doubt leads to denying a faith that was formerly undeniable.

It is important for me to say that I too share in these frustrations, yet I recognize that these downfalls do not represent 100% of Christianity. I know Christians who are amazing people and have been a part of churches who are doing a great job at overcoming these shortcomings. I also recognize there are many streams of Christianity that are doing an excellent job of evolving into a more beautiful spirituality. Unfortunately that beauty is more the exception than it is the norm. I feel that I have the freedom to critique this faith because in some weird way I still feel it is my own. I grew up in it and it has shaped my worldview in a significant way. But I know there are improvements to be made and I cannot be silent. Nothing will change unless it be from the bottom up. Now, back to the matter at hand.

Are they being lured away by Atheism, Hedonism, or another Religion?

No. In listening to young adults express their dissatisfaction with Christianity, I have been reminded of my own recent past.  Deemed "apostates," are we truly leaving or are we merely searching for a more meaningful version devoid of the baggage that has accumulated over the centuries. We still strongly desire a spiritual community where our personal faith can be cultivated. The confusion with atheism happens because the deconstruction phase typically consists of a period of doubting God's existence; however, what's actually taking place is the letting go of the Christian Fundamentalist theology, also called the "Santa Clause God." Serious spiritual investigators don't flippantly trade in their Christianity for a wild sin-filled life. These are good, intelligent people who are spotting flaws in Christianity, and they feel that their religion is falling short of their expectations. Lastly, a different religion may eventually catch some who have fallen, but that has nothing to do with their initial goodbye.

Why are young adults leaving Christianity?

Homosexuality. I can't tell you how many times this topic arises when young adults are venting about their frustrations with the Church. It's common knowledge that Christianity's majority stance is "love the sinner, hate the sin." This construct works for some until a believer develops a friendship with a gay person. This is where the theological rubber meets reality road. This nagging question will not go away- "How is my friend supposedly entrenched in sin yet are so loving and kind to me and others?" Most believers don't have to face the fact that they believe homosexuals are going to burn in hell forever until they get to know one as a living breathing human being who turns out to be A LOT like them. And for those who have those relationships and still cling to that belief, I'm completely baffled. Their brains are apparently capable of performing some insanely high level of compartmentalizing. I guess if nothing else I admire their militant obedience to what they believe is God's will.

Excluding Other Religions. Most versions of Christianity adhere to the doctrine that Christianity is the only one true religion. Like homosexuality, this belief causes those who have friends of other religions to pause. A simple exercise that usually gives people reason for concern is thinking about a respectable non-Christian, such as Ghandi, and a not-so-Christian "Christian," such as Donald Trump. One acts like a Christian but doesn't claim to be while the other claims to be Christian but acts nothing like it. This creates a theological quandary for many and begs the question: How could theological beliefs matter more than real life actions?! 

Political Ties. It is no secret that Christianity is intrinsically linked to the Republican party. Many of their shared conservative values, most notably abortion and marriage, are big reasons why these two sleep in the same bed. Of course Republican candidates are outspoken about having a Christian faith...it drastically increases their chances of being elected. President Trump largely has Christianity to thank for beating Hillary. Trump had the support of many influential-old-white-men who pastor megachurches and lead massive Christian organizations in America. Could their possibly be a problem here with this marriage of church and state? It is ironic that Christianity has become a powerhouse in the political sphere, which is completely antithetical to the message of Jesus. In its early days, Christianity was a minority movement. Now, it is a dominant religion that looks very unfamiliar to its founder's message. Thankfully our current President's antics have led many young believers to question their expected automatic adherence to the Republican party. They are starting to ask: "Should Christianity really be so intertwined with the GOP...or any political party for that matter?"

Hollywood Church. Young adults have caught on to the Show. They have grown up with mainstream media and incessant advertisements. They can easily sniff out when an organization is trying to sell them a product. The Church's fear of becoming totally irrelevant has generated a contrived relevancy. She traded her adorable quirkiness for a Hollywood look-a-like. The stuff that made her appealing to the true spiritual seekers was traded for business-like approaches to attract entertainment seekers. Her depth, substance, and mystery are becoming harder to find inside her door. So the real seekers went elsewhere. Deemed "apostates," they went looking for a spirituality with more depth instead of settling for a show that scratches an emotional itch. This two millennia old Bride has settled for light shows, trendy music, coffee shops, low-grade creativity, and hipster pastors. Yes, some of it may have been helpful and even necessary, but some of it is surely killing Her.

Being Fake. Christian leaders frequently make headlines for some type of moral failure. This happens because the church has engendered a culture of "fake" --Sunday mornings filled with fake smiles and small talk. Congregants are being trained to be nice instead of being themselves. They are trading in their genuine flawed self for a painted over version. Sermons on grace and acceptance are commonplace, and those attributes are often extended to those "outside the church" but not as often given to those on the inside. Young adults are sick and tired of ubiquitous "fake" in our culture and want the Church to create a safe space for them to be real. They need a place to be vulnerable about their faults but fear that brutal honesty is not what the church really wants to hear.

Questions & Doubts. Anyone who is serious about his or her faith will have questions and doubts. This is just a normal part of being human and thinking about the things in life that no one knows for certain. Sadly, Christianity has only welcomed "appropriate" questions and responds to doubt with certainty. The age of the internet allows young adults to find answers to any questions they might have. If the Church is unwilling to address their inquiries, the world wide web is happy to oblige. The internet has made the Earth feel like a wide open space where we are connected to a myriad of spiritual ideas. Since Christianity has primarily become a concrete set of doctrines, young adults are exploring more open ideas that fit the unique and inclusive world that they feel they live in. The doctrine of Biblical Inerrancy has made a mess of Christian theology. Hopefully soon the Church will stop being so scared of what it can't prove and instead allow people to think and explore freely.