Nonreaction & The Indoor-Sunglasses-Wearing-Line-Butting Man

"What you react to in another, you strengthen in yourself."   -Eckhart Tolle

Yesterday my wife and I went to Wal Mart to return something. Three busy cashiers filled checkout counter and just as one finished with a customer, a man behind us in line decided to totally ignore the cultural norms of line-waiting and bolted up front to the free cashier. He was wearing sunglasses inside so maybe I shouldn't have been all that surprised by his move.

My initial reaction was, "How dare he?!" Then I noticed that the lady who was supposed to be next in line approached the cashier helping the indoor-wearing-sunglasses-line-butting man and asked, "Is this a special line?" The cashier simply said, "No," looking somewhat puzzled as she likely didn't realize the drama that was unfolding on our side of the checkout counter.

These instances happen all the time. By now you'd think we would surrender, accepting such antics as a normal part of our dysfunctional society. For some reason we just can't capitulate. We don't want to bend to the idea that unfairness is the way things will always be. Life should be fair! Shouldn't it?!

I'm currently reading A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, one of my favorite authors and spiritual teachers. This morning as I sip my hot cacao drink and listen to the songbirds on our sun porch, I am reading a section about the ego's desire to be offended by what other people do. I'm going to quote a few lines because Eckhart is the real wordsmith here, not me.

"Resentment is the emotion that goes with complaining and the mental labeling of people adds even more energy to the ego....Instead of overlooking unconsciousness in others, you make it into their identity." 

What Eckhart says here is so profound because he explains what is happening inside every one of us almost on a moment-to-moment basis. We judge. We take things personally. We get offended. And we label. It's a cyclical pattern that 99.9% of the population accept as being a totally normal part of the human experience. But is it just the way things will always be with us? Eckhart doesn't think things always need to be this way...

"Nonreaction to the ego in others is one of the most effective ways not only of going beyond ego in yourself but also of dissolving the collective human ego. But you can only be in a state of nonreaction if you can recognize someone's behaviors as coming from the ego, as being an expression of the collective human dysfunction. When you realize it's not personal, there is no longer a compulsion to react as if it were. By not reacting to the ego, you will often be able to bring out the sanity in others, which is the unconditioned consciousness as opposed to the conditioned." 

Now if you aren't used to hearing this type of language then it may sound oddly esoteric and woo woo, but I promise the lesson is actually very simple and applicable. He is simply saying that we will become less reactionary by recognize that people act inappropriately because of their unconsciousness. Meaning, they are unaware they they are unaware. The indoor-sunglasses-wearing-line-butting man didn't have a personal vendetta against any of us who were in front of him in line. Maybe he is just a miserable man. Or maybe he was in a rush because his wife and kids are all at home feeling terribly ill. Or maybe he was so caught up thinking about the crappy day he had at work that he didn't even realize there was a line that he was supposed to be waiting in. So be it his naivety or his misery, his unconsciousness to the situation was what led him to cut in front of the rest of us. It wasn't personal at all, even though instances like this feeling nothing but personal. 

I suspect that some would say non-reaction is a sign of weakness, becoming a door mat for others to walk upon. But Eckhart disagrees...

"Nonreaction is not weakness but strength. Another word for nonreaction is forgiveness. To forgive is to overlook, or rather to look through. You look through the ego to the sanity that is in every human being as his or her essence."

Now it's critical to mention that this concept is not applicable to every situation. If there's abuse or if you're dealing with a dangerous person, then that's another story. But for most of the petty stuff we get so frustrated by, this is the real remedy. Start to take notice of peoples' unconsciousness and don't allow yourself to be so reactionary to their actions that stem from unconsciousness. Eckhart's words here sound a lot like those of Jesus in the Gospels. "Turn the other cheek....Forgive....Love your enemies." You know, the stuff that Jesus was really about but often isn't the focus of Christianity since these teachings are extremely difficult to put into practice. I love how Eckhart says to "look through the ego" to see the another's true nature. The true nature of every single human being on this planet is that we are all borne from Divine Beauty. We just get lost along the way and most times, our culture doesn't help point us back to this core reality.

The END.