Who I Am & Why I Write

At a very low time in my life, I had a mystical experience that profoundly affected me. I was 22, sitting in a Protestant church, feeling extremely depressed and anxious when I "heard" a voice tell me that I had no joy and peace because I was without this Being. This was not an audible voice, it felt more like a thought that came from somewhere else...I could tell that it wasn't mine. Now, because of the Christian tradition I grew up in, I assumed this was Jesus. Immediately, my body became extremely hot and tears streamed down my face; I felt the heavy depression and anxiety leave my body. I will never forgot the feeling of lightness and aliveness that I felt when I walked outside of that church building; colors seemed so much brighter! Prior to this moment, I was having panic attacks; but since that day, I never had another. This day in January 2008 marked me; I have been different ever since, and this "conversion" experience has led me on a spiritual journey that has had many unpredictable twists and turns.

I write this on December 2017, and in the past almost 10 years I have at different times labeled myself as: an Evangelical Christian, a wanna-be Charismatic, one rejecting Conservative Christianity, a Grace junkie, and currently a spiritual seeker with a pluralistic view on religions.

To give you some of my spiritual and religious background, I first worked for a Wesleyan church, then after a few years of feeling like I was outgrowing this, I moved to California to attend Bethel Church's School of Supernatural Ministry. After living there for a year I moved back to Pennsylvania (where I grew up) and took a year of online classes through Global Grace Seminary, and soon after enrolled in a Masters of Theological Studies through Regent University's Divinity program where I completed two semesters of classes.

I have led young adult Bible study groups and men's home groups. I have spent a half day with monks touring a Catholic monastery; I once visited a Universal Unitarian church, and have taken meditation classes from a former Buddhist Zen priest. I have been to all sorts of different Christian denominations- both conservative and liberal. In the near future, I would like to visit services of other religions. Currently, my fiance and I attend a wonderful home group meeting of Liberal Quakers.

I write all this not to brag about my experiences, but to hopefully connect with those of you out there who are also on a spiritual journey that might feel quite confusing and even scary at times. You are not alone.

I write my blog-posts because these are things inside of me that have to come out. I need an outlet. Spirituality is my passion. I love it and never feel like I can get enough. I love reading about different religions, philosophers and thinkers, and holy books. I love to learn new ideas and discuss all matters of theology and spirituality with others. This is what I love, thus this is why I write. My beliefs are constantly changing, and I have finally come to be at peace with this reality. Doing so has helped me to be less judgmental with what others believe. I try to remain open to what others have to say and love hearing about how different religions and cultures experience the universe, God, Source, or whatever language folks use to name the transcendent. If you can relate to my journey and feel that I can be of help in any way, I am here for you. Please reach out.

Peace to you all on your spiritual journeys. Don't ever be afraid to question, doubt, and experience!