Identity, Community, & Vulnerability
My last post (Dan the Man) concluded with my claim to overcoming tough times through these keys: Identity, Community, & Vulnerability.
Identity
"Diamonds don't know their own value. They find their value in our appreciation." Francois du Toit, author of the Mirror Bible, said this in one my seminary videos. He's implying, "People don't know their own value. People find their value in God's appreciation." Since we "don't know," we search. We long.
"Why am I here?" "What's my purpose?" "Is there anything special about me?" Questions we all asked ourselves, sometimes being bold enough to ask others. Thousands of books have been written, attempting to provide us with some solitude for these soul-searching inquiries. Usually, we respond one of two ways...
1) We quit asking the question.
2) We allow someTHING or someONE to answer it for us. I've done both. Heck, I still do both at times. Both can work...for a while.
The problem with Option 1 is the question doesn't remain dormant forever. Oh, we feel it trying to rear its ugly head. He's a stubborn son of a gun! And Option 2, well we all do this to a certain extent. Finding our value in our job, our passion, our kids, our boyfriend, even our sugar mamma.
One time, I was leading a Bible study at a buddy's house. Before our discussion, I was teaching... and I totally blanked. I blacked out, well sort of. One thing was for sure, no words were coming out of my mouth. My biggest fear came true: speaking to a group of people and having nothing to say! I recovered, but the damage was done.
I love soccer. Last night, my team had a game. We lost, and I kinda sucked. When this sort of thing happens, it eats at me for days sometimes. The game doesn't even matter. It's just a silly adult indoor league. Why would my lackluster performance crush my spirits? I don't know why...actually, I do.
I'm not trying to over-spiritualize, and I'm definitely not trying to demonize our passions or relationships. Finding pleasure and meaning in people and things is GOOD. But, it shouldn't stop there. People let us down and things are temporal. We even fail at the things we're good at. I guess I'm just wanting to give hope. Hope that there's more. There's One who doesn't fail or change or leave. One who holds your heard above the water when the waves of life come crashing down.
Having your identity set in the love of your Father and His opinion of you allows you to enjoy people and things, instead of needing them for you to be "okay." My favorite author, Donald Miller, claims that he and his wife have such a flourishing relationship because they hold each other "loosely." I believe this is how the pleasures of life can be appreciated to their fullest measure.
I'm sure your inner-battles look different than mine, but we all ask those same haunting questions. He answers them with, "You are loved. You are valued. You are talented." You have a Dad who is crazy about you. He dreamt of you even before He created the world. His good thoughts about you outnumber the sand. One look from you steals His heart. You are His idea, and He has really great ideas!
Sadly, the nature of God has been butchered, often by those who claim to truthfully represent Him. Instead of telling people that God doesn't remember their sins, they are placed ever-before us. If God's radical love was rightly preached, people's behaviors wouldn't be such an issue. Too many times the Church leaves behind the good news in place of telling people how to act. A cryin' shame.
Lastly on identity, it pleases God to manifest himself in the form of YOU. You are created in His image. He is never displeased with what He creates. He's quite happy about the job He did. An Artist in bliss, admiring His work, if you will.
Community & Vulnerability
These two go hand-in-hand. They are co-dependent; to have community, you must be vulnerable. Likewise, there's little opportunity for vulnerability without having a community of people to be "naked" with.
Community is a dynamic word. It's moving, going places, taking us forward. But for it to be experienced, one must take off "the mask." Your true self must be what's offered. If not, the mask receives the love, not you. You'll remain alone, unloved. That dang mask!
It's extremely frightening to let people fully know us. The dirt is what we really want to hide. "They can't possibly love me if they tell them that. There's just no way. I don't even love me for that." These are the lies we hear.
The walls we have to climb to experience authentic community may seem insurmountable. Luckily, the walls are fake. They're an illusion, which can turn into a delusion if we don't recognize them for the falsity they are. Once we take the plunge, it shocks our system just like that cold lake on a humid summer day. At first, it isn't easy. It feels uncomfortable. But then we get used to it. We even begin to enjoy it. "I don't think I ever wanna get out!" We feel this way because this is where we find safety and security. We feel loved and accepted, not despite of our junk, but because we have junk.
One valuable lesson I've recently learned about community is it's like a mirror. As I live life with others, they reveal my true self. They encourage me. They highlight my gifts and talents. They remind me of the things I forget when I'm living in isolation. The longer I'm on my "island," the more I lose sight of who I really am.
God manifests Himself beautifully through my community. It's almost like he's saying, "Since you won't listen to me, I'll have them tell you. Then you'll start to believe it." He's right. It works. The mirror reveals the truth.
So, if you're struggling, hurting, or confused...well, join the party. But it doesn't end there. I encourage you to learn of the wonderful truths your Father says about you. Read Ephesians, maybe. Then find a group of lovely folks whom you can run around naked with, metaphorically speaking, of course. Unless your going streaking together. If that's the case, I need to read your blog-post on how to be vulnerable.
Identity
"Diamonds don't know their own value. They find their value in our appreciation." Francois du Toit, author of the Mirror Bible, said this in one my seminary videos. He's implying, "People don't know their own value. People find their value in God's appreciation." Since we "don't know," we search. We long.
"Why am I here?" "What's my purpose?" "Is there anything special about me?" Questions we all asked ourselves, sometimes being bold enough to ask others. Thousands of books have been written, attempting to provide us with some solitude for these soul-searching inquiries. Usually, we respond one of two ways...
1) We quit asking the question.
2) We allow someTHING or someONE to answer it for us. I've done both. Heck, I still do both at times. Both can work...for a while.
The problem with Option 1 is the question doesn't remain dormant forever. Oh, we feel it trying to rear its ugly head. He's a stubborn son of a gun! And Option 2, well we all do this to a certain extent. Finding our value in our job, our passion, our kids, our boyfriend, even our sugar mamma.
One time, I was leading a Bible study at a buddy's house. Before our discussion, I was teaching... and I totally blanked. I blacked out, well sort of. One thing was for sure, no words were coming out of my mouth. My biggest fear came true: speaking to a group of people and having nothing to say! I recovered, but the damage was done.
I love soccer. Last night, my team had a game. We lost, and I kinda sucked. When this sort of thing happens, it eats at me for days sometimes. The game doesn't even matter. It's just a silly adult indoor league. Why would my lackluster performance crush my spirits? I don't know why...actually, I do.
I'm not trying to over-spiritualize, and I'm definitely not trying to demonize our passions or relationships. Finding pleasure and meaning in people and things is GOOD. But, it shouldn't stop there. People let us down and things are temporal. We even fail at the things we're good at. I guess I'm just wanting to give hope. Hope that there's more. There's One who doesn't fail or change or leave. One who holds your heard above the water when the waves of life come crashing down.
Having your identity set in the love of your Father and His opinion of you allows you to enjoy people and things, instead of needing them for you to be "okay." My favorite author, Donald Miller, claims that he and his wife have such a flourishing relationship because they hold each other "loosely." I believe this is how the pleasures of life can be appreciated to their fullest measure.
I'm sure your inner-battles look different than mine, but we all ask those same haunting questions. He answers them with, "You are loved. You are valued. You are talented." You have a Dad who is crazy about you. He dreamt of you even before He created the world. His good thoughts about you outnumber the sand. One look from you steals His heart. You are His idea, and He has really great ideas!
Sadly, the nature of God has been butchered, often by those who claim to truthfully represent Him. Instead of telling people that God doesn't remember their sins, they are placed ever-before us. If God's radical love was rightly preached, people's behaviors wouldn't be such an issue. Too many times the Church leaves behind the good news in place of telling people how to act. A cryin' shame.
Lastly on identity, it pleases God to manifest himself in the form of YOU. You are created in His image. He is never displeased with what He creates. He's quite happy about the job He did. An Artist in bliss, admiring His work, if you will.
Community & Vulnerability
These two go hand-in-hand. They are co-dependent; to have community, you must be vulnerable. Likewise, there's little opportunity for vulnerability without having a community of people to be "naked" with.
Community is a dynamic word. It's moving, going places, taking us forward. But for it to be experienced, one must take off "the mask." Your true self must be what's offered. If not, the mask receives the love, not you. You'll remain alone, unloved. That dang mask!
It's extremely frightening to let people fully know us. The dirt is what we really want to hide. "They can't possibly love me if they tell them that. There's just no way. I don't even love me for that." These are the lies we hear.
The walls we have to climb to experience authentic community may seem insurmountable. Luckily, the walls are fake. They're an illusion, which can turn into a delusion if we don't recognize them for the falsity they are. Once we take the plunge, it shocks our system just like that cold lake on a humid summer day. At first, it isn't easy. It feels uncomfortable. But then we get used to it. We even begin to enjoy it. "I don't think I ever wanna get out!" We feel this way because this is where we find safety and security. We feel loved and accepted, not despite of our junk, but because we have junk.
One valuable lesson I've recently learned about community is it's like a mirror. As I live life with others, they reveal my true self. They encourage me. They highlight my gifts and talents. They remind me of the things I forget when I'm living in isolation. The longer I'm on my "island," the more I lose sight of who I really am.
God manifests Himself beautifully through my community. It's almost like he's saying, "Since you won't listen to me, I'll have them tell you. Then you'll start to believe it." He's right. It works. The mirror reveals the truth.
So, if you're struggling, hurting, or confused...well, join the party. But it doesn't end there. I encourage you to learn of the wonderful truths your Father says about you. Read Ephesians, maybe. Then find a group of lovely folks whom you can run around naked with, metaphorically speaking, of course. Unless your going streaking together. If that's the case, I need to read your blog-post on how to be vulnerable.
really good!
ReplyDelete