Dan the Man
This past week I reached out to a guy I graduated high school with. His name is Dan. "Dan the man" is what I called him in school. A good buddy of mine, Beau (who's a great attorney at law), suggested I reach out to Dan because of some worrisome Facebook posts Beau had seen him recently make.
I'd only seen Dan a handful of times since we'd graduated high school in 2003. We weren't all that close then; however, since we only had about 25 students in our graduating class, we were pretty much forced into some kind of daily interaction. For the most part, we were quite friendly with one another. Not this one time though. The memory's imprinted on my brain like it was just a few weeks ago. In this moment, I was a grade A jackass.
It happened during Mr. Rehm's high school history class. We were playing a review game for an upcoming test. For this particular game a student had to sit in a chair facing the entire class. For a reason unbeknownst to me, I was standing behind the lone chair in the front, and as Dan approached and began to take the seated position, I quickly yanked it out from under him. He hit the floor...HARD! To make matters worse, his back scraped against the metal part of the chair. I'll never forget the look on his face- sheer terror. His face was blood-red, obviously from the fury and embarrassment that was caused by yours truly. I first laughed, but when I saw the look on his face, my laughter turned to regret fueled by compassion. Not my finest moment. One of my worst, actually.
I wonder if he remembers the moment as vividly as I do? For his sake, I hope not. Those are the kinds of things that leave scars. Boy, I was a real jerk for doing that to him. It's easy for me to see now that it was out of my own insecurity and desire to be liked. Kid's definitely "say and do the darnedest things."
I did just apologize to Dan. He greatly accepted, of course, being the nice guy he is. The apology was likely more for my benefit than his. Getting to the point...
Dan now lives in New York; I, in Pennsylvania. Dan filled me in on his current life hardships via Facebook chat and text, but these means have obvious limitations. When he told me that he would be coming to Lewisburg, I requested that we get together. I currently live in the same town as Dan's parents, where we grew up, which made for an easy rendezvous. We, along with Beau, met for lunch at Chipotle (biggest dang burritos I've ever seen). Something happened that I never expected...
Dan didn't look "beat up" like I thought he would. He wasn't carrying the heavy weight of this terrible situation on his shoulders, like I anticipated. I was surprised...shocked! As I asked lots of questions, he shared his heart. The pain. The process. The relief. The peace. He laid it all out on the table, along with those massive burritos! It was this beautiful concoction of heaven and hell. I told him how beautiful it was.
It was a lovely moment. Three men sitting together at a table outside of Chipotle. Eating. Laughing. Sharing. And praying.
You know, we all face hard times; sometimes they are the result of our choices, and sometimes they just seem to happen. Often we find them to be unfair, then other times completely justifiable.
Some people are firm believers in suffering being necessary to shape us into better people. I tend to disagree, although I would be naive to say that it can't have this effect. To me, the real beauty lies in our response. Dan's response to tragedy taught me something.
While I was in the shower this morning (where my greatest thinking happens), I was thinking about Dan's seemingly unfathomable response. He is smack dab in the middle of a "perfect storm," as they say. Three words popped into my mind: COMMUNITY, IDENTITY, & VULNERABILITY.
From my experiences in life, and now also sharing in Dan's, these seem to be three of the most crucial areas for overcoming hell.
Jesus talked a lot about escaping hell. The modern-day church has interpreted Jesus' lessons as alluding to a "post-mortem hell," but I don't see it that way. Jesus often referred to the "Kingdom at hand." He was constantly reeling the future into the present. Religion thrives off of a distance and delay message. Jesus pronounced the opposite. He fed people today, right where they were. He offered, and still offers, a heavenly reality on earth. I think Dan has tapped into this other realm. The song from Aladdin summed it up best by declaring, "A WHOLE NEW WORLD!"
In my next blog, I'll be unpacking why I believe community, identity, and vulnerability are so important. Dan gave me permission to share his story, and if you'd like to hear more about his journey, he invites you to check out his blog: www.thenerdaddict.wordpress.com.
I hope you can also draw inspiration from Dan's story.
I'd only seen Dan a handful of times since we'd graduated high school in 2003. We weren't all that close then; however, since we only had about 25 students in our graduating class, we were pretty much forced into some kind of daily interaction. For the most part, we were quite friendly with one another. Not this one time though. The memory's imprinted on my brain like it was just a few weeks ago. In this moment, I was a grade A jackass.
It happened during Mr. Rehm's high school history class. We were playing a review game for an upcoming test. For this particular game a student had to sit in a chair facing the entire class. For a reason unbeknownst to me, I was standing behind the lone chair in the front, and as Dan approached and began to take the seated position, I quickly yanked it out from under him. He hit the floor...HARD! To make matters worse, his back scraped against the metal part of the chair. I'll never forget the look on his face- sheer terror. His face was blood-red, obviously from the fury and embarrassment that was caused by yours truly. I first laughed, but when I saw the look on his face, my laughter turned to regret fueled by compassion. Not my finest moment. One of my worst, actually.
I wonder if he remembers the moment as vividly as I do? For his sake, I hope not. Those are the kinds of things that leave scars. Boy, I was a real jerk for doing that to him. It's easy for me to see now that it was out of my own insecurity and desire to be liked. Kid's definitely "say and do the darnedest things."
I did just apologize to Dan. He greatly accepted, of course, being the nice guy he is. The apology was likely more for my benefit than his. Getting to the point...
Dan now lives in New York; I, in Pennsylvania. Dan filled me in on his current life hardships via Facebook chat and text, but these means have obvious limitations. When he told me that he would be coming to Lewisburg, I requested that we get together. I currently live in the same town as Dan's parents, where we grew up, which made for an easy rendezvous. We, along with Beau, met for lunch at Chipotle (biggest dang burritos I've ever seen). Something happened that I never expected...
Dan didn't look "beat up" like I thought he would. He wasn't carrying the heavy weight of this terrible situation on his shoulders, like I anticipated. I was surprised...shocked! As I asked lots of questions, he shared his heart. The pain. The process. The relief. The peace. He laid it all out on the table, along with those massive burritos! It was this beautiful concoction of heaven and hell. I told him how beautiful it was.
It was a lovely moment. Three men sitting together at a table outside of Chipotle. Eating. Laughing. Sharing. And praying.
You know, we all face hard times; sometimes they are the result of our choices, and sometimes they just seem to happen. Often we find them to be unfair, then other times completely justifiable.
Some people are firm believers in suffering being necessary to shape us into better people. I tend to disagree, although I would be naive to say that it can't have this effect. To me, the real beauty lies in our response. Dan's response to tragedy taught me something.
While I was in the shower this morning (where my greatest thinking happens), I was thinking about Dan's seemingly unfathomable response. He is smack dab in the middle of a "perfect storm," as they say. Three words popped into my mind: COMMUNITY, IDENTITY, & VULNERABILITY.
From my experiences in life, and now also sharing in Dan's, these seem to be three of the most crucial areas for overcoming hell.
Jesus talked a lot about escaping hell. The modern-day church has interpreted Jesus' lessons as alluding to a "post-mortem hell," but I don't see it that way. Jesus often referred to the "Kingdom at hand." He was constantly reeling the future into the present. Religion thrives off of a distance and delay message. Jesus pronounced the opposite. He fed people today, right where they were. He offered, and still offers, a heavenly reality on earth. I think Dan has tapped into this other realm. The song from Aladdin summed it up best by declaring, "A WHOLE NEW WORLD!"
In my next blog, I'll be unpacking why I believe community, identity, and vulnerability are so important. Dan gave me permission to share his story, and if you'd like to hear more about his journey, he invites you to check out his blog: www.thenerdaddict.wordpress.com.
I hope you can also draw inspiration from Dan's story.
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